Sometimes I philosophize too.

I come up with some interesting thoughts. They're probably more Platonic in theory, but hey... at least I'm thinking. Kind of. Ripped from my own Facebook, I'd like to take the time to reflect in my own hilarity. Everyone loves a comedian that can laugh at herself. A few insightful gems:

Sometimes I wish things in my life had the option to "Save As Draft." You know, in case I need to edit something out.

Tuesday, which really is just Monday deja vu.

Adulthood should still have mandatory nap time, recess and and field trips

The phrase, "government shutdown"is redundant.

If killing someone with kindness actually worked, I'd smile at people a lot more often.

Why do I always giggle when I see "Fruit On The Bottom" printed on my yogurt?

There's something about Steve Winwood that makes me think, "I'm in a waiting room."

Well, it looks like I'm finally a grown up. I've accepted the fact that I love beets, turnips and Brussels sprouts. When I hit prune juice: it's over

Remember the days when you thought it would be "soooo cool" to live with a musician?

For only $60/month I can have my patience and compassion for humanity tested daily. Thanks, MUNI.

I miss the days when Twilight was a time of day, Gaga was an adjective not a noun (or part of a Queen song) and a Belieber was just a slight typo

When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler shooting at me with a weapon.

I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Opposites absolutely attract. How else can you explain that someone you are close with asks, "Who makes the iPhone?" and you shrug it off as one of their wonderful personality traits.

Passive aggressive Brenda leaves note in neighbor's mail slot. Aggressive Brenda writes on said note, "Stop stomping around upstairs like of pack of buffalo wearing high heels. You make so much aggravating noise that the emergency alert system is now my meditation music."

San Francisco voted country's vainest city. Residents thought they were awesome before, but now they actually know it

I'll cuss you out, but I'll do it with my legs crossed. After all, I'm still a lady.

Bacon is what friendship is made of.

Ford using Sigur Ros song for their new TV ads. Isn't that like spraying perfume on a pile of poop?

I don't understand why they say to "try, try again" when you don't first succeed. I thought the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I give my 3 year old niece a ladybug pillow pet which she promptly named, "Mr. Cowboy." Don't ask, don't tell.

I wish we skipped over days that don't begin with F or S.

Time seems to stop at the DMV, the year between 20 and 21, and every work day between 4pm and 5pm.