Chip: "He was a death of God theologian. Post-Nietzsche."
Me: "Oh. Well, whatever." (pointing to TV) Look, Mythbusters is on Lombard Street."
Apr 28, 2011
MRS.
Trying to avoid another Chipism (nugget of enlightened thought):
Me: "Chip. Please don't go there with me. I'm not in the mood."
Chip: "Where? What do you mean by, 'go there.' We are present in the now."
I give up.
Me: "Chip. Please don't go there with me. I'm not in the mood."
Chip: "Where? What do you mean by, 'go there.' We are present in the now."
I give up.
STFU.
Chip: "Religion is constituted by temporal metaphors."
Me: "Shut the fuck up with that crap, do you want me to edit this paper or not?"
I didn't realize how bitchy that came off until I typed it. I said it while laughing, I promise.
Me: "Shut the fuck up with that crap, do you want me to edit this paper or not?"
I didn't realize how bitchy that came off until I typed it. I said it while laughing, I promise.
Editor-In-Chief
I have several new ones to post up here, it was like last night Chip was possessed by a monster that kept giving me some great blog material. It got to the point where Chip even said, "Oh my. I get it. I even catch myself doing it. It's hilarious."
It got to the point where he'd say something, I'd reply and we'd both stop and laugh since we knew the next step would be the B-word. However, all of this stemmed from the fact that I'm currently his editor for a 20 page paper he's writing on Paul Tillich (still, who?) I'd like to think that by page five of editing (and four hours of rewrites) I'd have some semblance of a clue who he was. Nope.
I come from a family of writers and literary nuts. My dad, aunt and even my mom and brother are all writers in one way or another whether it be technical or creative. I suppose we could have figured out that I was born to write when in 9th grade I did a 10 page paper on the breakdown of Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, and the teacher only required three to four.
I wonder what makes me want to write. My mom says, "You write like you talk." But I can barely put a sentence together when I talk without stumbling over words. Maybe it's because I speak before I think and think before I write. That must be it. Anyway, I stray....
Editing a paper for Chip is no easy task. Talk about daunting. Talk about a lot of words that when separate make sense, but when strung together are cause for headache. Chip is an amazing mind, he knows how to verbally state any idea and convey that idea perfectly. However, this is our yin/yang. Just like I mentioned in an earlier post, this is what makes us different, but work. Where I can't talk, he can. Where he can't write, I can. Get the idea? So, here we are.
The problem with Chip is he tends to overthink things. Big surprise, he's a philosophy student. But when he writes, he over writes, because he over thinks. So when he wants to say something simple, like, "I had a cheeseburger for lunch" he would write:
"There was a place that served up cheeseburgers with meat and bread, as to which I ate for lunch. "
This is why I edit. He overstates, over-explains, and repeats. Sometimes the beginning of the sentence is at the end, and sometimes he ends in a preposition. This isn't a big deal. Overall he's a great writer. He just needs an editor, just like anyone else writing several pages of material. He's trying to put a concept into execution, just like I do as an Art Director. I have production artists on hand because my concepts are not executed the way my brain wants them to be, since I don't have the skills to do so.
Parts of last night were so hilarious in our dynamic that I should have just hit the "record" button on our video camera for posterity sake. Scenario: I sit on the broken couch (oh is that why my back feels like that today?). I have a thesaurus and dictionary on-hand, a bottle of wine (which I'll need to get through this) open and Chip's paper and a blue pen ready to bleed on paper.
Some of the better quotes I had while dissecting his paper included:
"Did you read any of this before giving it to me?"
"Did you read any of this again after you wrote it?"
"What are you trying to say here?"
"This sentence makes me feel like I got roofied, because nothing makes sense."
"Can you run to the kitchen and grab a knife? I promise I won't use it on my wrists."
Okay, the last one was a joke. But by page five my hand had cramped and I couldn't do anymore. Maybe I over edited. He is actually a great writer. Really. But I'm editing for technical things, not content. I'm not changing a single thought, I just work on flow and Chicago style citation. Which is a whole new pain in the ass since my background is MLA and APA.
So, once again, we've taught each other something again. I've taught Chip how to better his writing and he's taught me a lot more patience. The world makes sense, yet again.
(PS: For anyone that wants to see my bloody rendering of his opening paragraph, I've posted the picture below. This is why I always kindly remind him, "Write your introduction after the rest of your paper is done. It also helps to have an outline, but if I know you, you probably just started writing. Next lesson will be outlining for PhD students."
Enjoy.
It got to the point where he'd say something, I'd reply and we'd both stop and laugh since we knew the next step would be the B-word. However, all of this stemmed from the fact that I'm currently his editor for a 20 page paper he's writing on Paul Tillich (still, who?) I'd like to think that by page five of editing (and four hours of rewrites) I'd have some semblance of a clue who he was. Nope.
I come from a family of writers and literary nuts. My dad, aunt and even my mom and brother are all writers in one way or another whether it be technical or creative. I suppose we could have figured out that I was born to write when in 9th grade I did a 10 page paper on the breakdown of Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, and the teacher only required three to four.
I wonder what makes me want to write. My mom says, "You write like you talk." But I can barely put a sentence together when I talk without stumbling over words. Maybe it's because I speak before I think and think before I write. That must be it. Anyway, I stray....
Editing a paper for Chip is no easy task. Talk about daunting. Talk about a lot of words that when separate make sense, but when strung together are cause for headache. Chip is an amazing mind, he knows how to verbally state any idea and convey that idea perfectly. However, this is our yin/yang. Just like I mentioned in an earlier post, this is what makes us different, but work. Where I can't talk, he can. Where he can't write, I can. Get the idea? So, here we are.
The problem with Chip is he tends to overthink things. Big surprise, he's a philosophy student. But when he writes, he over writes, because he over thinks. So when he wants to say something simple, like, "I had a cheeseburger for lunch" he would write:
"There was a place that served up cheeseburgers with meat and bread, as to which I ate for lunch. "
This is why I edit. He overstates, over-explains, and repeats. Sometimes the beginning of the sentence is at the end, and sometimes he ends in a preposition. This isn't a big deal. Overall he's a great writer. He just needs an editor, just like anyone else writing several pages of material. He's trying to put a concept into execution, just like I do as an Art Director. I have production artists on hand because my concepts are not executed the way my brain wants them to be, since I don't have the skills to do so.
Parts of last night were so hilarious in our dynamic that I should have just hit the "record" button on our video camera for posterity sake. Scenario: I sit on the broken couch (oh is that why my back feels like that today?). I have a thesaurus and dictionary on-hand, a bottle of wine (which I'll need to get through this) open and Chip's paper and a blue pen ready to bleed on paper.
Some of the better quotes I had while dissecting his paper included:
"Did you read any of this before giving it to me?"
"Did you read any of this again after you wrote it?"
"What are you trying to say here?"
"This sentence makes me feel like I got roofied, because nothing makes sense."
"Can you run to the kitchen and grab a knife? I promise I won't use it on my wrists."
Okay, the last one was a joke. But by page five my hand had cramped and I couldn't do anymore. Maybe I over edited. He is actually a great writer. Really. But I'm editing for technical things, not content. I'm not changing a single thought, I just work on flow and Chicago style citation. Which is a whole new pain in the ass since my background is MLA and APA.
So, once again, we've taught each other something again. I've taught Chip how to better his writing and he's taught me a lot more patience. The world makes sense, yet again.
(PS: For anyone that wants to see my bloody rendering of his opening paragraph, I've posted the picture below. This is why I always kindly remind him, "Write your introduction after the rest of your paper is done. It also helps to have an outline, but if I know you, you probably just started writing. Next lesson will be outlining for PhD students."
Enjoy.
Apr 27, 2011
Digital Takeover, Chip style.
Can't I even make a comment on Facebook without Chip chiming in? Apparently not. After a "Best of Richmond" list came out, I commented that the list was bullshit, probably the worst "Best Of" I've ever had the displeasure of reading. (So much for my votes).
After I comment, "There are some very bad opinions of what is considered 'good' in Richmond, VA--Such as Can Can voted as best bar, wtf?"
Of course I get the Chip Special: A reply with a side of insight:
Chip: "How is it even possible to have a "bad" opinion? Opinions are noises people make."
I have a feeling that very soon I will start retorting to everything Chip says like that with one word: "Blog."
After I comment, "There are some very bad opinions of what is considered 'good' in Richmond, VA--Such as Can Can voted as best bar, wtf?"
Of course I get the Chip Special: A reply with a side of insight:
Chip: "How is it even possible to have a "bad" opinion? Opinions are noises people make."
I have a feeling that very soon I will start retorting to everything Chip says like that with one word: "Blog."
Clarification.
I do want to clarify that for anyone reading this, it's not an effort to make him or me look good or bad. I also don't write this to explain how to be in a relationship. I write this to show the interesting dynamic between two people who are married but come from different perspectives.
As compatible as we are with each other, we have our differences which makes us work. We are really opposite in a lot of ways, but again, that's what makes us work. He gets to sit around and go on and on about how Paul Tillich (who?) is widely considered to be one of the greatest systematic theologians of the 20th century and I go on about why The Broadcast Advertising Nondiscrimination Rule is important to encourage a vibrant media ecosystem. Oh wait, "blah blah blah."
This dynamic is what makes us work. We don't talk about the same thing, ever. We don't have similar subjects of interest, even if we do both like the same music (except for his recent AOR phase, which could be over any day now).
Why do we work, then? I think it's because we teach each other things. And if learning is a lifelong process, I think we'll be good. Two intellectual people living under one roof. Both of us stubborn and opinionated and one of us is always right.
As compatible as we are with each other, we have our differences which makes us work. We are really opposite in a lot of ways, but again, that's what makes us work. He gets to sit around and go on and on about how Paul Tillich (who?) is widely considered to be one of the greatest systematic theologians of the 20th century and I go on about why The Broadcast Advertising Nondiscrimination Rule is important to encourage a vibrant media ecosystem. Oh wait, "blah blah blah."
This dynamic is what makes us work. We don't talk about the same thing, ever. We don't have similar subjects of interest, even if we do both like the same music (except for his recent AOR phase, which could be over any day now).
Why do we work, then? I think it's because we teach each other things. And if learning is a lifelong process, I think we'll be good. Two intellectual people living under one roof. Both of us stubborn and opinionated and one of us is always right.
Apr 26, 2011
Chipisms: You could just say....
Me: I just got a really good compliment from a fellow ad pro who really liked my work. It feels good.
Chip: cause confirmation of what you already know to be true is manifesting outwardly?
Me: Jeez, Chip. Can't you just say, "of course. you're talented."
Chip: cause confirmation of what you already know to be true is manifesting outwardly?
Me: Jeez, Chip. Can't you just say, "of course. you're talented."
Chip's lecture
Another GChat discussion of philosopher/princess brilliance:
Chip: i'm just giving a basic run down on buddhist theories of mind and epistemology, for english sake...the interdisciplinary dialogue group asked me
me: that's cool! congrats honey. that goes on the resume, you should update it.
Chip: they mainly do western stuff, so they wanna get someone to talk on buddhist ideas
me: oh that's so neat
Chip: pratyaksa -- That link, here is the basic idea. Tell me what you think
me: I think that I don't understand a single word, but I do think you'll rock the lecture. Btw, bring home some wine, would you?
Chip: i'm just giving a basic run down on buddhist theories of mind and epistemology, for english sake...the interdisciplinary dialogue group asked me
me: that's cool! congrats honey. that goes on the resume, you should update it.
Chip: they mainly do western stuff, so they wanna get someone to talk on buddhist ideas
me: oh that's so neat
Chip: pratyaksa -- That link, here is the basic idea. Tell me what you think
me: I think that I don't understand a single word, but I do think you'll rock the lecture. Btw, bring home some wine, would you?
Chip: Tech Genius
Chip and I are both geeks. He might be a geek in his own "professor of philosophy" way, but I geek out on tech stuff. Like computers, phones, apps, design programs, etc. So as Chip can guide me in the ways of finding the true self, I can guide him in the ways of everything that helps you find everything else, except of course, your true self. But hell if I can't show you how to figure out how to perfectly remove a "photobomb" from your favorite cruise photograph without it looking Photoshopped at all (curious?). And all from a mobile device:
Chip: what is a smartphone? I have no idea
Me: Wow, really?
Chip: nope, never been explained to me
Me: well...umm...
Chip: does it just mean that it's more than a phone?
Me: A smartphone is a mobile phone offering advanced capabilities, often with PC-like functionality
Chip: I thought that was a blackberry
Me: a blackberry IS a smartphone--but there are different types/brands/platforms of SmartPhone. Blackberry is just one.You have Droid, Blackberry, iPhone...
Chip: oh, so not every smartphone is a blackberry.
Me: Right.
Chip: what makes something a blackberry then?
Me: umm. For starters, it's branded, "Blackberry." It's made by a company called RIM (I think it stands for Research in Motion.) Basically Bberry is RIM's brand of smart phones, which is also bascially a personal digital assitant. It's OS (operating system) is more catered for PC-like functionality.
Chip: oh I see, that's the brand, Blackberry. It's made by RIM. Kind of like the brand iPhone made by Apple. I thought it was the name of a device, but its a brand
Me: I think we just had a breakthrough
Chip: u wanna see a pic of my phone. it does many cool things. I can call people
Me: Nevermind...
Chip: what is a smartphone? I have no idea
Me: Wow, really?
Chip: nope, never been explained to me
Me: well...umm...
Chip: does it just mean that it's more than a phone?
Me: A smartphone is a mobile phone offering advanced capabilities, often with PC-like functionality
Chip: I thought that was a blackberry
Me: a blackberry IS a smartphone--but there are different types/brands/platforms of SmartPhone. Blackberry is just one.You have Droid, Blackberry, iPhone...
Chip: oh, so not every smartphone is a blackberry.
Me: Right.
Chip: what makes something a blackberry then?
Me: umm. For starters, it's branded, "Blackberry." It's made by a company called RIM (I think it stands for Research in Motion.) Basically Bberry is RIM's brand of smart phones, which is also bascially a personal digital assitant. It's OS (operating system) is more catered for PC-like functionality.
Chip: oh I see, that's the brand, Blackberry. It's made by RIM. Kind of like the brand iPhone made by Apple. I thought it was the name of a device, but its a brand
Me: I think we just had a breakthrough
Chip: u wanna see a pic of my phone. it does many cool things. I can call people
Me: Nevermind...
I can throw it right back
Me: Did you ever hear of Francis Picabia? He is a painter and poet who was influenced by Plato's writings he said, "Our heads are round so that thoughts can change direction."
So do me a favor and remember this when you are vehemently against the idea of me buying new shoes.
So do me a favor and remember this when you are vehemently against the idea of me buying new shoes.
Chipisms: "Guilty Party"
Chip: You feeling "guilty" isn't anything that others impose, it's an idea you created, not because someone told you to feel that way.
Me: Oh, no one told me about it, I was born into a Jewish family, remember?
Me: Oh, no one told me about it, I was born into a Jewish family, remember?
Sometimes I philosophize too.
I come up with some interesting thoughts. They're probably more Platonic in theory, but hey... at least I'm thinking. Kind of. Ripped from my own Facebook, I'd like to take the time to reflect in my own hilarity. Everyone loves a comedian that can laugh at herself. A few insightful gems:
Sometimes I wish things in my life had the option to "Save As Draft." You know, in case I need to edit something out.
Tuesday, which really is just Monday deja vu.
Adulthood should still have mandatory nap time, recess and and field trips
The phrase, "government shutdown"is redundant.
If killing someone with kindness actually worked, I'd smile at people a lot more often.
Why do I always giggle when I see "Fruit On The Bottom" printed on my yogurt?
There's something about Steve Winwood that makes me think, "I'm in a waiting room."
Well, it looks like I'm finally a grown up. I've accepted the fact that I love beets, turnips and Brussels sprouts. When I hit prune juice: it's over
Remember the days when you thought it would be "soooo cool" to live with a musician?
For only $60/month I can have my patience and compassion for humanity tested daily. Thanks, MUNI.
I miss the days when Twilight was a time of day, Gaga was an adjective not a noun (or part of a Queen song) and a Belieber was just a slight typo
When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler shooting at me with a weapon.
I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Opposites absolutely attract. How else can you explain that someone you are close with asks, "Who makes the iPhone?" and you shrug it off as one of their wonderful personality traits.
Passive aggressive Brenda leaves note in neighbor's mail slot. Aggressive Brenda writes on said note, "Stop stomping around upstairs like of pack of buffalo wearing high heels. You make so much aggravating noise that the emergency alert system is now my meditation music."
San Francisco voted country's vainest city. Residents thought they were awesome before, but now they actually know it
I'll cuss you out, but I'll do it with my legs crossed. After all, I'm still a lady.
Bacon is what friendship is made of.
Ford using Sigur Ros song for their new TV ads. Isn't that like spraying perfume on a pile of poop?
I don't understand why they say to "try, try again" when you don't first succeed. I thought the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
I give my 3 year old niece a ladybug pillow pet which she promptly named, "Mr. Cowboy." Don't ask, don't tell.
I wish we skipped over days that don't begin with F or S.
Time seems to stop at the DMV, the year between 20 and 21, and every work day between 4pm and 5pm.
Sometimes I wish things in my life had the option to "Save As Draft." You know, in case I need to edit something out.
Tuesday, which really is just Monday deja vu.
Adulthood should still have mandatory nap time, recess and and field trips
The phrase, "government shutdown"is redundant.
If killing someone with kindness actually worked, I'd smile at people a lot more often.
Why do I always giggle when I see "Fruit On The Bottom" printed on my yogurt?
There's something about Steve Winwood that makes me think, "I'm in a waiting room."
Well, it looks like I'm finally a grown up. I've accepted the fact that I love beets, turnips and Brussels sprouts. When I hit prune juice: it's over
Remember the days when you thought it would be "soooo cool" to live with a musician?
For only $60/month I can have my patience and compassion for humanity tested daily. Thanks, MUNI.
I miss the days when Twilight was a time of day, Gaga was an adjective not a noun (or part of a Queen song) and a Belieber was just a slight typo
When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler shooting at me with a weapon.
I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Opposites absolutely attract. How else can you explain that someone you are close with asks, "Who makes the iPhone?" and you shrug it off as one of their wonderful personality traits.
Passive aggressive Brenda leaves note in neighbor's mail slot. Aggressive Brenda writes on said note, "Stop stomping around upstairs like of pack of buffalo wearing high heels. You make so much aggravating noise that the emergency alert system is now my meditation music."
San Francisco voted country's vainest city. Residents thought they were awesome before, but now they actually know it
I'll cuss you out, but I'll do it with my legs crossed. After all, I'm still a lady.
Bacon is what friendship is made of.
Ford using Sigur Ros song for their new TV ads. Isn't that like spraying perfume on a pile of poop?
I don't understand why they say to "try, try again" when you don't first succeed. I thought the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
I give my 3 year old niece a ladybug pillow pet which she promptly named, "Mr. Cowboy." Don't ask, don't tell.
I wish we skipped over days that don't begin with F or S.
Time seems to stop at the DMV, the year between 20 and 21, and every work day between 4pm and 5pm.
Philosophical Restraint.
Chip: People's feelings are different when it comes to the same event. We all see the same thing, we interpret it in vastly different ways. That's a whole other mystery to take on. In other words, that's going to require 10 hours of argument.
My husband, the self-censor.
My husband, the self-censor.
Word of the day
Chip: so, compassion is the word of the day.
Me: Nope, it's not. Dictionary.com emailed me the word of the day and it was "homunculus," and it means a fully formed, miniature human body believed, according to some medical theories of the 16th and 17th centuries, to be contained in the spermatozoon.
Chip: We can be compassionate towards little people too.
Me: Maybe we can find the compassion in the spermatozoon.
Me: Nope, it's not. Dictionary.com emailed me the word of the day and it was "homunculus," and it means a fully formed, miniature human body believed, according to some medical theories of the 16th and 17th centuries, to be contained in the spermatozoon.
Chip: We can be compassionate towards little people too.
Me: Maybe we can find the compassion in the spermatozoon.
Chipisms: Holiday Edition
"Problem is, we can't get resurrected til we die, so the symbol of death is the death of our ego. The resurrection is a parable for the death of your ego, the part of us that is separate from being God-like, which takes an act of will and ultimate concern."
Chip just can't say, "Happy Easter" like the rest of the world.
Chip just can't say, "Happy Easter" like the rest of the world.
Apr 14, 2011
Passover for Beginners
Well, Chip fancies himself to be a religious studies major, but hasn't the first clue about Judaism. Even if his wife is Jewish. I know enough to teach him a few things, here and there. He's taken a liking to using Yiddish whenever he remembers. Keppie (head) is his favorite, as he always says, "let me give keppie a kiss goodnight."
Apparently, I'm 6 years old.
Anyway, in lieu of trying to hold on to some sort of Jewish tradition--especially since I don't attend high holiday services, and don't even ask me when they actually happen--I figured I could at least do a bunch of cooking, invite a few Jewish friends (or hungry ones) over and we could have a little quickie Seder. So, I'm trying to figure out the best and easiest way to do this without killing myself, or making my friends sit through four hours of leaning back. Ultimately, this may not be the most educational experience for the Philosopher. The Princess has decided to keep it as simple as possible. As I told my mother via email (when I was asking the best way to do this as easy as possible) that I want to summarize it to the point of this:
Damn, it sucks being a slave.
Let us go.
Sure thing.
You lied, let us go!
Fuck no.
Fine, have a few gnarly plagues.
Gross, bugs, boils and frogs... and I can't see anything, it's all dark.
Now I've I got blood on my door.
Some weird misty thing just went by.
Oh no, my kid is dead.
Hey guys, we gotta run!
We're stuck! They're closing in!
Fuck, the river parted in half!
Awesome, we just wiped out those Egyptians
I'm lost in a desert for 40 years. Where's the map?
Mana from the sky? Nom nom nom
Oh snap, we're in Israel.
No, Moses you can't come in.
The end!
I'll let you know how it all goes.
Apparently, I'm 6 years old.
Anyway, in lieu of trying to hold on to some sort of Jewish tradition--especially since I don't attend high holiday services, and don't even ask me when they actually happen--I figured I could at least do a bunch of cooking, invite a few Jewish friends (or hungry ones) over and we could have a little quickie Seder. So, I'm trying to figure out the best and easiest way to do this without killing myself, or making my friends sit through four hours of leaning back. Ultimately, this may not be the most educational experience for the Philosopher. The Princess has decided to keep it as simple as possible. As I told my mother via email (when I was asking the best way to do this as easy as possible) that I want to summarize it to the point of this:
Damn, it sucks being a slave.
Let us go.
Sure thing.
You lied, let us go!
Fuck no.
Fine, have a few gnarly plagues.
Gross, bugs, boils and frogs... and I can't see anything, it's all dark.
Now I've I got blood on my door.
Some weird misty thing just went by.
Oh no, my kid is dead.
Hey guys, we gotta run!
We're stuck! They're closing in!
Fuck, the river parted in half!
Awesome, we just wiped out those Egyptians
I'm lost in a desert for 40 years. Where's the map?
Mana from the sky? Nom nom nom
Oh snap, we're in Israel.
No, Moses you can't come in.
The end!
I'll let you know how it all goes.
Apr 9, 2011
"The Argument"
Here we go again. This time, Chip makes commentary about a couple that was sitting next to us in a bar, both in a very heated argument with each other. Chip overhears them and turns to me, saying:
Chip: "You know, HP Gunther would call that experimentally initiated potentialities of experience."
Me: "You know, B.B. Cosby would that an unfortunate situation of two people that should have another shot and get over it."
Chip: "You know, HP Gunther would call that experimentally initiated potentialities of experience."
Me: "You know, B.B. Cosby would that an unfortunate situation of two people that should have another shot and get over it."
Apr 8, 2011
"Press ignore button"
5:04PM
Chip: courage is the acceptance of Being in spite of Non-Being
Chip: courage is the acceptance of Being in spite of Non-Being
Me: perfect, i'll be sure to ignore that for the future.
The Confrontational Chip
This is one of my favorite stories, because it deals with one of the very few times (maybe two, tops) that Chip has ever gotten confrontational with anyone. This time was probably one of the better times, because of two reasons:
1. He was clearly right
2. He got in a girl's face.
I don't condone man v. woman, but first of all, she started it and secondly she was the one that was wrong. Here's the background to the confrontation:
I went to Blur Bar to meet Chip. Naturally, I arrive first. (Funny if you know me). I go up to the bar, and order from a girl who I've never seen before. She's coming off as ditzy, aloof, and completely out of it. Clearly, she's on something. She made me a really good drink consisting of their pineapple-infused vodka and champagne and something else, I can't recall. It was delightful. So, by the time Chip arrives, I'm ready for another. So we go up to the bar together, and tell her I really enjoyed what she made me. She replies, "Okay, here." And pours me me a shot of just the pinapple vodka, nothing else. She's not making eye contact with neither Chip or me, staring off to the other end of the bar as she stands right in front of us. We try to get her attention. Ignored. Until I raise my voice a little, and she "snaps out" of her little drug-induced haze.
Chip: "Hey, can you make that specialty cocktail for her that you made a bit ago? She doesn't really like the vodka straight."
Bartender: "Ugh. What? Huh? I made you that."
(Looking at the glass of vodka over ice, I'm dumbfounded.)
Chip: "Look, she doesn't like it this way. Can you just make her the other thing?"
(she reluctantly gives in and makes my cocktail. After she put it down, Chip finally gets to inform her of the whole order, since she didn't care to listen the first time.)
Chip: "Oh, can I get a whiskey-ginger?"
Her: "God, you're needy."
Me and Chip: "WHAT?"
Chip: "Why, because I asked you to make a drink? You are a bartender, right?"
Her: "Yeah, what do you gotta say about it?"
(She then leans over towards us and gets directly in our face, almost jumping over the bar)
Chip: "I have plenty to say, like the fact that you have repressed feelings and the only way to relieve them is to lash out on others. Whatever someone has done to you in the past to hurt your ego, you have decided to let it run your entire being and how you interact with others."
At this point she's flipping, yelling "WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?" And all I can do is hold Chip back, I can cut the tension with a knife. The entire confrontation ends with the bouncer coming over to ask what happened. We tell him. Five minutes later, it turns out she gets sent home, "sick."
Moral of the story: Call people out on their issues. Calmly. It will not help the situation one bit, but the passive-aggressive confrontation is absolutely one of the best things to watch.
1. He was clearly right
2. He got in a girl's face.
I don't condone man v. woman, but first of all, she started it and secondly she was the one that was wrong. Here's the background to the confrontation:
I went to Blur Bar to meet Chip. Naturally, I arrive first. (Funny if you know me). I go up to the bar, and order from a girl who I've never seen before. She's coming off as ditzy, aloof, and completely out of it. Clearly, she's on something. She made me a really good drink consisting of their pineapple-infused vodka and champagne and something else, I can't recall. It was delightful. So, by the time Chip arrives, I'm ready for another. So we go up to the bar together, and tell her I really enjoyed what she made me. She replies, "Okay, here." And pours me me a shot of just the pinapple vodka, nothing else. She's not making eye contact with neither Chip or me, staring off to the other end of the bar as she stands right in front of us. We try to get her attention. Ignored. Until I raise my voice a little, and she "snaps out" of her little drug-induced haze.
Chip: "Hey, can you make that specialty cocktail for her that you made a bit ago? She doesn't really like the vodka straight."
Bartender: "Ugh. What? Huh? I made you that."
(Looking at the glass of vodka over ice, I'm dumbfounded.)
Chip: "Look, she doesn't like it this way. Can you just make her the other thing?"
(she reluctantly gives in and makes my cocktail. After she put it down, Chip finally gets to inform her of the whole order, since she didn't care to listen the first time.)
Chip: "Oh, can I get a whiskey-ginger?"
Her: "God, you're needy."
Me and Chip: "WHAT?"
Chip: "Why, because I asked you to make a drink? You are a bartender, right?"
Her: "Yeah, what do you gotta say about it?"
(She then leans over towards us and gets directly in our face, almost jumping over the bar)
Chip: "I have plenty to say, like the fact that you have repressed feelings and the only way to relieve them is to lash out on others. Whatever someone has done to you in the past to hurt your ego, you have decided to let it run your entire being and how you interact with others."
At this point she's flipping, yelling "WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?" And all I can do is hold Chip back, I can cut the tension with a knife. The entire confrontation ends with the bouncer coming over to ask what happened. We tell him. Five minutes later, it turns out she gets sent home, "sick."
Moral of the story: Call people out on their issues. Calmly. It will not help the situation one bit, but the passive-aggressive confrontation is absolutely one of the best things to watch.
Chipisms: GChat Philosphy
Chip and I talk on Gmail chat pretty often. I'll give them to you as I get them from him.
10:37 AM
Chip: self-cherishing is a form of extreme neurosis.
10:38 AM
Me: It's too early, don't start. Have you fed the cat?
...and later....
10:44 AM Chip: so, there is this philosopher alan badou, who talks about the essentail human condition. So, he uses this analogy of two children in a sandbox, but there is only one toy in the sandbox, and one of the children grabs it. But what Badou says it's not the actual toy that the child wants--it's the "other child's" desire. It wants to consume the other persons desire, just because they desire it. It is an essential human predicament.
10:47 AM Chip: Firmly rooted in our attempt to establish why human beings can't be good.
10:48 AM Me: I knew this kid once that pooped in the sandbox. Talk about human predicament. I would hate to clean that up.
10:37 AM
Chip: self-cherishing is a form of extreme neurosis.
10:38 AM
Me: It's too early, don't start. Have you fed the cat?
...and later....
10:44 AM Chip: so, there is this philosopher alan badou, who talks about the essentail human condition. So, he uses this analogy of two children in a sandbox, but there is only one toy in the sandbox, and one of the children grabs it. But what Badou says it's not the actual toy that the child wants--it's the "other child's" desire. It wants to consume the other persons desire, just because they desire it. It is an essential human predicament.
10:47 AM Chip: Firmly rooted in our attempt to establish why human beings can't be good.
10:48 AM Me: I knew this kid once that pooped in the sandbox. Talk about human predicament. I would hate to clean that up.
Chipisms: Sports
A few things I get to hear weekly. This conversation happened as we watched the NCAA Final Four, where our alma mater, VCU was playing. Somehow, even Chip can turn a sports event into a hell realm of intelligent comments that have no bearing on what we're doing at the moment. A few key quotes from that lovely Saturday at a bar:
"Who is everyone, and what does he mean by forever?"
"Lost on matter: That's what the Gnostic's would say."
"You know, you might want to look up 'fides' and how the Greek interpret it. Also, go read up on St. Thomas Aquinas."
I'm not even going to touch the last comment, because it seems so overly vague. Just go read up on St. Thomas Aquinas? Chip, you makes it sound so easy.
Now, where's my damn Encyclopedia Britannica...
"Who is everyone, and what does he mean by forever?"
"Lost on matter: That's what the Gnostic's would say."
"You know, you might want to look up 'fides' and how the Greek interpret it. Also, go read up on St. Thomas Aquinas."
I'm not even going to touch the last comment, because it seems so overly vague. Just go read up on St. Thomas Aquinas? Chip, you makes it sound so easy.
Now, where's my damn Encyclopedia Britannica...
"Second Life"
I hope to do several posts a week containing snippets of our conversations. The first post is the one that most recently comes to mind. Just last night, we discussed the fact that he bought Rayban Wayfarers with gradient lenses. Yes, GRADIENT. I joked to him that only girls should wear those, and he should have listened to me and ordered the all black ones. Of course, he didn't listen and now he's sending back the ones he ordered to get what I had suggested to him in the first place.
Me: "When are you going to learn to listen to me?"
Chip: "Can it wait until our second life together?"
Me: "What if we don't have another life together?"
Chip: "Of course we will. We're going to do this over and over again for eternity."
Me: "So, technically this life now, could be our second, or third or fourth life together already. And what if you promised to listen to me in the last life we had? Yeah. Don't go there."
Chip: Silence. "Oh damn."
Me: "When are you going to learn to listen to me?"
Chip: "Can it wait until our second life together?"
Me: "What if we don't have another life together?"
Chip: "Of course we will. We're going to do this over and over again for eternity."
Me: "So, technically this life now, could be our second, or third or fourth life together already. And what if you promised to listen to me in the last life we had? Yeah. Don't go there."
Chip: Silence. "Oh damn."
Apr 7, 2011
About this blog
I unknowingly married a true philosopher. No, wait. Don't get me wrong: I knew he was going for a PhD in Religious Studies and Philosophy. After all, his undergrad and Master's are in Religious studies and Philosophy. What I didn't know, was how it would turn out to be a hilarious dynamic of misunderstandings, confusion, rants, raves and laughter.
I titled this blog, The Philosopher and the Princess. I'm really NOT a princess, just don't ask my mother to verify that. However, I am admittedly Western-minded. To someone studying Asian philosophy, you can only imagine how absolutely incredible our conversations wind up. I understand everything he says, and most of the time, I just change the subject before a rant ensues. Our ongoing joke in the house is, he recites something he learned and I ask him how my hair looks.
This blog is dedicated to my husband, Chip. For being not-so-quietly brilliant, for repeating things enough times to me that I'm starting to learn and retain some of your knowledge, and for finally, having the patience to deal with a wife who would rather discuss politics and celebrity gossip rather than Samsara and "I-Am-ness."
Enjoy.
I titled this blog, The Philosopher and the Princess. I'm really NOT a princess, just don't ask my mother to verify that. However, I am admittedly Western-minded. To someone studying Asian philosophy, you can only imagine how absolutely incredible our conversations wind up. I understand everything he says, and most of the time, I just change the subject before a rant ensues. Our ongoing joke in the house is, he recites something he learned and I ask him how my hair looks.
This blog is dedicated to my husband, Chip. For being not-so-quietly brilliant, for repeating things enough times to me that I'm starting to learn and retain some of your knowledge, and for finally, having the patience to deal with a wife who would rather discuss politics and celebrity gossip rather than Samsara and "I-Am-ness."
Enjoy.
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