It's been TWO YEARS!

As if anyone knew. Okay a few of you did... but we just celebrated our TWO YEAR anniversary! In California, that's considered a milestone equivalent to about 8 years (Hollywood brings down the success rate, lets not lie).

So, instead of doing the "oh swoon, please lets go out to a fancy dinner that we leave hungry and angry we were overcharged for pretentious service and neo-classical american fare with the price tag close to our rent" and instead we opted to give eachother very meaningful gifts: The Gift Of Denial.

Okay, so lets explain. When I say the gift of "Denial" I mean this: I usually deny Chip the pleasure of ordering in pizza and wings to eat with me for dinner. My horrible stomach issues that refuse the consumption of such foods without putting me into a state of such pain and discomfort I'd rather deny myself such pleasures rather than suffer for two days. In the same category, I also deny him the pleasure of watching horror movies with me. Why? I don't like horror. I spent my youth watching things ranging from  "Faces of Death" to "Dr. Giggles" and honestly, with such violence and hate and negativity breeding every day just outside my door I kind of like to stick with things that make me laugh rather than cower in fear and cover my eyes.

(Shush, don't even bring up Dexter--that is TOTALLY different, I love that show and does not count. It's a "drama" not "horror," and don't argue with me.)

Now. As far as Chip's gift to me, he has also provided me with the Gift of Denial. How? Ahh, how good of you to ask.

Chip promised me ONE WEEK (seven whole friggin days) of denying me the constant kvetching I hear on a daily basis (i.e. denial of becoming "LARRY"--his alter ego. Yes, like Larry David)

So on our two year anniversary, my husband and I gave each other gifts that could not be bought in a store.

I sat down, ate pizza and wings and watched two (yes TWO) horror movies with him. And for about 48 hours, he managed not to complain about a single thing. That was close enough to a week. 48 hours in Chip time might actually mean no time at all, since time doesn't really exist, does it? (eye roll)

This, my friends, might be the foundation for how to make a relationship really work.